Hi guys. It's been awhile since I've written anything. It's also been a long time since I've talked or seen many of you.
I've been going through the toughest time of my life. I am usually very public in regards to my "antics", but this is a part of my life that I don't really want to write that much about. For the first time, I am actually ashamed of myself and my self-destructive behavior over the past couple of years.
Not to go into too much detail, but I want everyone to know that I appreciate everyone who gives a shit, and I'm sorry for putting some of you through hell (you know who you are). I've been clean and sober for 16 days now, and I'm getting all the help and support I need right now. Once you get over the ego, you can find people who not only know what you're going through but want to help you...which blows my fucking mind.
Anyway, last night at the Velveeta Room was a testament to what a clear-eyed John Fucking Rabon is capable of. I don't know what's next for me, and I have to admit that I'm scared as shit.
I love most of you...and I player-hate the rest.