Sunday, January 23, 2011

Written Fifteen Years Too Late

And I said, "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"
She said, "I think I remember the film.
"And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."
Then she said, "I'm not staying with you because we both like the same movie. Seriously, Barry, you're a compulsive gambler, a drunk and you cheated on me 4 times. Don't you think it's sad you had to go back to a 50-year old movie to find some common ground? Eat shit."

(guitar solo)

Friday, January 21, 2011

Comedy Gold Set

Video from the Velveeta Room. Enjoy.

Friday, January 14, 2011

That's My Level, Apparently

In half-price bookstore: I have the longest conversation I've had with a stranger in Seguin...with a 10-year old girl. We are both looking for origami stuff. "I made a rose the other day," she says.

Me: "That's a difficult one."
Her: "You'll get there one day."
Me: "..."

Her: "Nice board. Where did you get those wheels?"
Me: "A shop in Austin...a friend works there."
Her: "I need to get my mom to take me there and fix up mine."
Me: "Well, nice being pwned in public. See ya."

I figured I better leave before I find out she knows more about the bands I like than I do.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Arm Update

The wound has sealed...I no longer need to wear a bandage...well, unless I'm doing some serious labor, then I might want to protect it. Check it:

Now THAT is a scar, kids...and a serious reminder of the negative aspects of self-destruction.

If anybody who doesn't know me well asks me where I got it, I'm just going to say, "Mexico."

(Heh...unintentional display of The Tao of Pooh that I'm currently revisiting.)

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Dear Google User Who Found Me With "bang buddy in seguin tx. women"

Dear Google User Who Found Me With "bang buddy in seguin tx. women":


Not your bang buddy,


RabonGrad Report: 01/06/11

RabonGrad Daily Report

by Sgt. J.F'n.R.

Due to the recent breakout attempts, the compound walls have been rebuilt and fortified. Even though the new additions to the camp should hold, I am recommending additional supervision of certain personnel in captivity. Prisoner # 8321882 (aka "Boomer") should be considered the leader of the prison breaks. Prisoner # 2284458 (aka "Molly") has long been considered just a follower in the who does not cause trouble unless influenced by another captive. However, it has been reported by trustee # 2288819 (aka "Tom the Cat") that "Molly" has begun to do their own digging.

It is my personal recommendation that both subjects should be constantly supervised and considered dangerous to the current regime. Movement and privileges should be restricted until further notice.

Sunday, January 2, 2011


I feel like I'm in the plot of an independent film made by a pretentious asshole: Recovering addict comes home to reconnect with his family and himself.

Jesus, that sounds like an uncomfortable 2 hours. You could call the movie "Greenberg 2".

The hardest part about being here is finding something to occupy my time and brain (which is working overtime now that I'm not dumbing it with booze or drugs).

"Maybe you should write more."

Maybe you should suck it. Sorry, I know you mean well...but seriously, quit "helping". I'm working on it.

I worked out AND jogged yesterday. Hey, if you get the chance to smoke for 15 years then attempt to run a mile, enjoy the burning and coughing up of lung material.

A friend of mine said, "It sucks you had to move, man."
My reply: "At least you know I'm clean and sober here. Would you rather me be there making you wonder if I'm in jail or dead?"

'Nuff said.