Wednesday, April 11, 2012

John F***ing Rabon Analyzes Country Lyrics: Alone With You

Alone With You, by Jake Owen

I don't see you laugh
You don't call me back
But you kiss me when you're drunk

Well, Jake, I gotta say...yeah, that's not a good sign.

I don't know your friends
Don't know where you've been
Why are you the one I want

Probably because you don't know shit about her and she's good in bed. Get to know her and you'll find out she's married...or just a really boring person when she's not downing tequila shooters.

Don't put your lips up to my mouth and tell me you can't stay

She won't. She can't talk with her tongue in your mouth. Duh.

Don't slip your hand under my shirt and tell me it's okay

But it probably is her. And to every other guy she does that to.

Don't say it doesn't matter cause it's gonna matter to me

I think you don't understand the concept of the "fuck buddy", Jake.

I can't be alone with
You've got me out on the edge every time you call
And i know it would kill me if I fall
I can't be alone with you

I'm not understanding the issue. If you don't want the booty call, don't answer the phone and go back to masturbating. ever think to just flat out ask her where you stand instead of singing whiney lyrics?

Please don't chain that door

Literally chain the door, like in a hotel room? Or is that a metaphor for the door on her heart? Can you spell "metaphor"?

I can't win this war
Your body's like a pill I shouldn't take Midol?

Don't say you love me cause you know you're gonna love me and leave

Wait a second. You know what? After rereading these lyrics...this sounds a girl singing about a douchebag guy who is using her. Yeah...completely. Jake Owen singing about some chick doing it to him while he battles with it emotionally inside his head...creeps me the fuck out, I'll be honest.

Oh shit. He's...singing about a dude. There's no pronouns in the song. Ahhhh...okay...Hey Jake, my bad...good luck with that guy.

In retrospect, I should have figured this out from the V-neck T-shirt and Fabio hair.