Friday, March 15, 2013

Lowest Common Denominator

Okay, so yesterday I wrote about where I've been, and I covered serious matters. This is about a "trivial" one. I use quotations because most would consider entertainment trivial, but it was important to me at the time.

I was in the SMART Program, which is Travis County's treatment thingy for offenders like me who repeatedly screw up. I still don't know what "SMART" stands for...I figure it's meant to be ironic.

I was able to get the most out of the program I could, but it unfortunately was lacking in activities. Luckily, family and friends sent books. I read about 30 over the past 6 months and am now a Douglas Adams and William Gibson fanatic.

I wasn't expecting to be busy...and I sure wasn't. However, I was encouraged to find new hobbies and activities that are prosocial and healthy. They pushed this...and then they sent me back to the tiny dorm with 6-7 other guys with the TV for 6 hours a day (12 a day on Saturday and Sunday). The good news: DirectTV, with limited channels, but including the Science channel. The bad news: TBS, USA, Discovery and History channel show the same shit over and over. After 5 months, you've seen every episode of "Friends", "Two & a Half Men", "Rules of Engagement", "King of Queens", "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" in the morning, and all those Tyler Perry shows. Fuck Tyler Perry. TBS...'Very Funny' my ass.

And you don't get to watch the Science Channel because the asshole who hogs the remote says there's not enough chicks on that channel (I didn't make that up). Then he watches "Big Bang Theory" for the girl and doesn't get the jokes...but keeps it on.

And fuck "Pawn Stars". I GET IT. You need to buy things that will sell at next to nothing so the seller can pay off gambling debts or drug dealers, and so you barter with him. You don't have to narrate to the camera what's going on every minute. It's also annoying because they are taping that narration way after the deal has happened: "This is a really nice item...and I'd love to have it in the shop. But he's going to have to come down on that price." Wait, slow're losing me. I'm not sure I grasp the complexity of buy low sell high. Oh, and you don't have to ramble on about the entire history of said item like a fucking Wikipedia article, egomaniac. We know a lackey looked all that up (probably on Wikipedia) and then gave it to you to recite like an expert.

It's hard to ignore the TV and read when someone continuously changes the channel, too.

Me: Please stop changing the channel.
Him: I don't like commercials.
Me: So the alternative is you watch 2 to 3 things incompletely? You have the attention span of a gnat on meth.
Him: What do you care, you're reading.
Me: Trying to read. I almost tune out what you're watching then you change it and it impedes my shit.
Him: Whatever, man...I ain't trippin'.
Me: If you have to say it, it means you are.
Him: Huh?
Me: Exactly.

So yeah. I'm no rush to get TV time at the sober house. I'm good.

And any music I've heard was on Hot Jams channel. I watched the Grammys and I knew who everybody was for the first time ever. "Oooh, Bruno Mars is nominated...Ugh, I need some Radiohead."

I'm better now.