Sunday, May 12, 2013


While watching YouTube videos of the very talented Josh Robert Thompson (voice and puppeteer of Geoff on Craig Ferguson's show) doing a spot-on Morgan Freeman impression and voice-over (thanks, Justin), it reminded me of a ridiculous argument I had with this guy in treatment. We were watching "Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman":

Me: God, I love this show.

Him: Yeah, too bad he's gay.

Me: Morgan Freeman? No, he isn't.

Him: Pretty sure he is. That's what I heard and it makes sense.

Me: Umm...okay, why does it matter if he's gay? Is that what you think about when you hear his voice? That's probably an issue you might want to look into, because the guy does a shit ton of voice work.

Him: No, it's just a shame, that's all.

Me: I don't really want to get into your homophobic shit, really, or why you seem to be infatuated with gay guys.

Him: What are you sayin'?

Me: You just made a comment earlier this week during X-Men about Magneto being gay...which he is...and that you thought Patrick Stewart was too...I told you not all old British actors are homosexual. Most of them, maybe...

Him: No, but Morgan Freeman is...

Me: I wish we had the goddamn internet right now...

Him: Yeah, you could prove me right.

Me: What did you hear? Where did this come from? He's been married like a couple of times.

Him: Gay guys get married...for like an image and shit.

Me: Okay...

Him: Plus, look, he's got an earring in his right ear.

Me: All right. There it is. So let me see if I can follow your logic. Morgan Freeman is enjoying success in Hollywood, but he doesn't want to "come out" and jeopardize his career, so he gets married for a long time. He has to watch and protect every aspect of his personal life to appear to be a heterosexual male actor to the public...forces himself to kiss his wife, or "beard" if you will, in public...but in the middle of all of this planning, he decides to say, "Hey, you know what? I want to do straight guy stuff 100%...except for this shiny ass earring. I'm going to put it in this ear. I know that goes against my huge cover-up, but I'm gonna throw caution to the wind. Fuck it."

Him: Well...

Me: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You know what, I hope he is gay, as well as everyone else you like...just to fuck with you.

It pretty much ended after that...I think because the TV channel was changed to "The Big Bang Theory"...there's a hot girl on that show...I guess it was what he needed to calm down. "Okay, breathe...think sex with with that blond girl..."

Homophobia must be exhausting.