The worst part of all the terms of my probation is not this breathalizer that's protecting me from me. It's not the weekly night class or random drug tests. It is the monthly court appearance I have to make.
It has nothing to do with court itself. I can't take my skateboard there. And then when it's over, I have to go to work without skating...then come home after my shift...no skating.
The best part of my day more often than most is the time I get off the bus and skate for 20 minutes to work...sun shining as I cruise down Cherrywood listening to Nine Inch Nails, Smashing Pumpkins, Morphine or the "Fight Club" soundtrack (I know, it's an obsession...shush). I'm free during that time. I have no worries or concerns...nothing weighing on my mind. I let everything truly go.
And the thing is, I really am a very shitty skater. I am not good at all. I'm lucky I don't almost kill myself every day on a curb, rock or slight incline easily conquered by grade schoolers.
"Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up."
Shut up, Alfred. I'm almost 40. I think I'll lie here in the street for a few more minutes, thank you.
Anyway...yeah, I'm awful. But since it's for personal enjoyment and not for competing in the X Games, I'm going to keep skateboarding.
It's so important to me that not being able to bring my board to work is a deal breaker. I had a job opportunity that I turned down for a number of reasons, the biggest being that I'd have to get up at 6am and get home at 7pm...but it was the fact that I couldn't bring my skateboard that sealed the deal on that. I know that may sound ridiculous to some of you, but it's taken me a long time to get to a place in my life where I know what I want, what I don't want, and what I fucking love to do.
I recommend that to anyone. If you find something you enjoy doing, keep doing it no matter how shitty you are at it. Who are you trying to impress? It's for you. Isn't that what matters?