The Ego: I'm pretty sure I run the meeting, Chairman...
The Chairman: Of course you think that. No. Today we need to talk about goals. As in...I think it's time to start looking into the future beyond our immediate needs.
The Intellectual: Should I peruse appropriate literature so that we are sufficiently prepared to move forward?
The Comedian: Yeah, your idea of serious reading is googling "goals", you ass. Let's talk comedy career, man, seriously.
The Chairman: Really? You want to go there? Okay, what do you want to do?
The Comedian: Um...make people laugh?
The Ego: We really are funny, aren't we?
The Chairman: I'll pencil that in as a career goal. But since the court jester has brought it up, shouldn't we set a goal to start networking for after probation?
The Cynic: We'll always be on probation.
The Addict: I have an idea for a goal...
The Chairman: Ugh, you're still here. Go have some coffee. Anyway, Comedian, don't you want to play more venues? More stage time...
The Comedian: Yes, fine. Network. Whatever. Get the smart one working on it. I'm trying to figure out how to make sober bus rides funnier...
The Teen: Put skateboarding on there...
The Chairman: As a goal?
The Teen: Huh huh, yeah...
The Chairman: We only let you do that because it's good exercise and it gets us to work. A mode of transportation is not a goal.
The Buddhist: We should live in the moment. Appreciate what we have. Breathe.
The Cynic: Oh for the love of...shut up, hippie.
The Intellectual: We should consider new employment to afford improved accommodations.
The Chairman: Ah! Good. So we start looking sooner than later for a good fit, then? I think one thing we could all agree on is more money would help.
The Durdenist: We are not the contents of our wallet.
The Chairman: Well, almost all of us.
The Ego: I love this guy! He's the reason I got us to shave our head, by the way. Hey, say that thing...
The Durdenist: Like a monkey, ready to be shot into space. Space monkey.
The Ego: HAHA! We rule...
The Cynic: This is hell.
The Teen: Can we watch "Fight Club" again? Fincher is tits.
The Cynic: No, it just gets all these jerks riled up.
The Addict: Does anyone want to hear what I want to do with more money?
The Chairman: Seriously, keep quiet or we're going to a meeting.
The Addict: Ew. Okay.
The Buddhist: I think it's time we stopped and pondered these things. Clear the room, meditate, then come back together as one...and continue on.
The Cynic: YOU meditate, I'm gonna smoke.
The Comedian: I want a cigarette, too.
The Teen: Oooh, smoking!
The Addict: You know I'm in.
The Chairman: I'll have you know that quitting smoking is still very much a goal of ours...
The Comedian: Make it a long-term one, then.
The Ego: Good one. We are hilarious.
|by Mel Bochner, http://www.melbochner.net/|